Inspirational Facebook Posts

Despite what the title may say, I’m not going to list some inspirational facebook quotes or spew out inspirational garbage like a possessed public speaker. I’m here today to tell all you aspiring facebook philosophers to shut the hell up. That’s right ‘Nostradomus’ take you’re optimistic post about ‘giving life your own purpose” and re-purpose it in your anal cavity. Seriously, why do people feel the need to try to inspire others through facebook posts? Who do you honestly feel you are helping, other than your obviously depressed and attention-craving selves?

You know what I do when I’m feeling down in the dumps? I go on Facebook and hope that somebody had made a post about inner-beauty and hope. Do I really? No, but I know a few people on Facebook that wished that I would so that their status’ could get some more ‘likes.’ There’s this one kid that posts some optimistic not-so-insightful garbage on his facebook every couple hours or so. It’s usually along the lines of “you’re beautiful, give life you’re own purpose, smile, and all that jazz.” Everyday, it’s the same basic message. My question is: why let it be known to all of your peers that you are a sad-sack-son-of-a-bitch? It’s quite obvious that in order for this person to feel this was about themselves they need to post it on facebook. Good on ya’, bro. Good on ya‘.

Now it’s bad enough that this kid makes me feel bad for him over Facebook, but there’s always the same people liking his status’. I have come to the conclusion that he is a cult leader. He has to be, it has to be a cult of people that crave to hear this man-child’s awe-inspiring words of wisdom. Either that or it’s a support group for Facebook loners. Or a cult/support group/diet pill pyramid scheme. I found you out you bastard, and I’m reporting you and flagging all of your posts, you diet pill pyramid scheming support group cult leader. Eh, maybe I’ll just de-friend him. Yeah, that’ll teach ’em.

-Everyone’s Zero


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